I'm working for my Money.

So I've started working again, which is a good thing, especially in regards to financial positions. I've been doing about 20hrs a week at the Salvation Army's Homeless Day centre next door to us. It's been really cool. I've learnt so much stuff about a way of life that I knew very little about. So that's been fun, yet a good level of challenge. Also I'm helping out another day Centre down the road in Victoria teaching a bit of English and playing Football (soccer). Lucy is in the middle of exams, so she's not that stoked when I wake her up in the middle of the night and then forget what I have to say at the moment. She's a trooper though, I don't think that I'll ever do a Masters, it's kind of like a big trick, they make you think that it's just like uni again, and then right at the end of the year they drop the bomb that it's actually way way harder than you'll ever imagine and make you so stressed. Not for me I'm afraid. Seeing as Lucy will be the more qualified of the two of us, I'd be quite happy taking the kids to the park during the day. Sorry that's a real stupid thing to say.

I'm enjoying things.

A New Chapter?

It's been about 2 months now since I stopped teaching. Gosh time flies doesn't it. I've been keeping busy around the place. The weather is definitely turning nice now, the days are getting longer and I'm beginning to see the leaves on the tree's. You know what, I think in all this I am resting in the promise that God has things sorted. Although I'm sad that it's not such a plain and easy to decipher road in front of me right now, I'm excited about the expansive prospect of life and work and doing different stuff.

God has been extremely faithful in the past, extremely. Why should the future be any different?

An Identity Crises

Six weeks ago I handed in my letter of resignation to the school that I was working at. I don't actually think that I needed to do that seeing as I was still on a temporary contract, but I wanted to do something to mark the event and explain myself a bit. The truth of it all was that I was turning into a grumpy, cynical and sarcastic old man. Every day I was trying to press on through a barrage of abuse and difficult circumstances and coming home well and truly the worse for it. So now I'm not working as a teacher anymore. It still feels so weird to even write that. I was teaching for only 3 years, yet it resounds well with me. Resounds well with my outlook on life and attitude towards what life/work should be about.

Am I a failure? Perhaps I'd have to say yes. I came up against a situation that I couldn't actually press through and succeed in. I totally thought that God being God was supposed to bring me through those events and challenges. That's a bit of a challenge to my perspective of God as well I guess.

I say 'Identity Crises' due to the idea that since I have begun my 'break' (I don't know if it's terminal yet) from teaching I have struggled with the notion of 'who am I?'. If I'm not a teacher, what exactly do I call myself? How long will I answer the question "What do you do?" with...
"Well up until __ weeks/months/years ago I was a teacher".

It's weird and I feel a bit lost and confused.

I took a week off

Two weeks into the term we shot over to France for a bit of snow and sun. It was blinking amazing. 8 whole days of enjoying the empty but very snowy slopes of Le Grand Bornand. I snowboarded down beside an avalanche, through snow frosted pine trees, and glided effortlessly over freshly laid powder. But all good things must come to an end. Upon my return to school I was collectively with a broken leg, getting over a family tragedy and worst of all...dead -all according to the imagination of the cover teacher that covered for me while I was away...what a rascal! The kids made me pay all week for leaving for my break, but absolutely worth the sacrifice. Loved it.

Ice Skating, Cristmas trees, Yoyos and Little Brothers

So Christmas has come and gone it seems. Just want to share a few special happenings.

The first made my month finishing off at school. After 15 weeks of 'challenging' kids, I decided to tag along with the year 8's on their year group outdoor ice skating trip down in Greenwich instead of marking books. I loved it, all these kids that I've struggled with all term coming up to me "Sir can I skate round with you this time". I'm looking forward to my return to school now in some funny way.

The second was my free Christmas tree, left outside a primary school by Victoria station. It was a bit too tall though so I had to chomp through it with my Leatherman, picking up a few interesting looks and comments throughout the ordeal. But after dragging it home and propping it up I was quite satisfied with the priceless aquisition.

My third was my yoyo. I got a yoyo from my lucious Lucy. So I'm rocking the cradle and walking the dog quite happily at the moment.

The forth choice thing that makes the list has been my little brother Andrew who's come over for a visit. He's so cool to have around and it's so nice just hanging out. We played rugby yesterday for the Old Alleynians, we both got a few tries. After not having played together for about 5 years we managed to find each other now and again.

So that's me. We're off to Windsor tomorrow to visit her majesty. Then spotting some sparkly things in the sky come midnight, followed by a 5 day trip around the the south coast in a wee rental car. Sweet as.

The Disorientating effect of a Northern Hemisphere Winter

It's only 16 days till Christmas, but I am feeling awkward on a few different levels. First it's supposed to be hot and I'm supposed to be at the beach. All around me is supposed to be a bright crimson backdrop of Pohutakawa trees flowering. School is supposed to be breaking up for 6 weeks, and my feet are supposed to pop out of their shoes in a green puff and slip wetly into my jandels as soon as I get in from work.

The reality is, it's cold, we're eating delicious hot roasts and yum soups. I'm ducking from bus to train to bus to bus to avoid raindrops, the trees are skeletal and no one has jandels on. When I get home, I massage my toes to get the blood running through them once more and then eagerly pop them into a nice warm pair of slippers.

And then there is the sun. In winter time down under when I look to the east (not religiously or anything...just trying to make a point) the winter sun is supposed to be a bit lower in the sky on my left hand side (learning moment: Towards the equator), but in this crazy winter up here when I am looking to the East (for the sake of argument) the sun is in fact low to the horizon on my RIGHT HAND SIDE. A trivial matter you might think, but pause and ponder the implications for my delicate at the best of times sense of direction here. Midday when I subconsciously feel as if I'm facing east with the sun on my left hand side, I'm actually well and truly facing west. Craziness!!!!

3

my wife says that if I have 3 posts before christmas she'll link to me again.

...and a few weeks on.

Someone asked me today at school, "why are you still here?". I wonder why quietly. I used to work for a Christian group called Student Life on a university campus, when I first started I wondered if I could work with a group that had 'To change the world' in it's vision statement. I find that really hard to imagine. Yet surely that's why we do anything, to try and positively influence our little part of our ginormous world. My wife Lucy has really helped me to see that changing the world is not just some mythical unattainable dream, because she's doing it most days of the week. I'm praying pretty much everyday now that God can help me try and do it too. Being a follower of Jesus I've got a bit of an advantage in that respect.

Redemption

I wanted to quit teaching for ever it seemed about 5 weeks ago. I don't really know why, I just had had enough. It makes me a little mad all those ads in NZ and even here in the UK about teaching being this totally fantastically wonderful thing to do if you're fed up with earning tonnes of money doing a seemingly pointless job. Teaching for me has to be a calling. And I guess, no actually I know that that is why I'm going to try and stick it out. The kids in my classes are naughty... oh so so naughty. They swear at me, yell at me, push me, cause me to face the whiteboard and swear under my breath very very quietly. But I'm going to try and stick with them. Convince myself, and hopefully them too, that I am committed

Final Daze

After getting back from France I decided that I would try and last 2 more weeks and then call it a day. So that's what I've just done. Supply teaching is blinking hard over here, leaving 2 weeks before the end of term was mainly for the preservation of my passion for teaching youngsters, which had been being daily stripped away by harrasment from students and the seemingly pointless endeavor of attempting to teach under excrutiatingly trying circumstances. I'd walk out at the end of the day 100 pounds better off, but pretty discouraged. I was lamenting with another kiwi teacher about the fact that we both used to really enjoy heading off to school most days back home. Out of the 38 days that I have been a supply teacher I don't need a second hand to count the days that I've felt the same here. Shoot it's discouraging, but I guess it's just the truth of it.

Over all though, I've appreciated the experience, and I hope that it has allowed me to gain a few more skills as far as crowd control goes.

I am actually really looking forward to starting off with my own bunch of kids come september. Teaching, in my humble experience, is way more effective when you have a long term perspective. I reacon a lot of the kids that I've worked with are sick to death of short term people in their lives, teachers, step dads, social workers, church groups. Being another short term person to add to the list wasn't that nice.

I do hope though by some miracle of a graceful God, I have added a glimmer of light into the darkness of some kids' lives.

Why you should never write a post on Friday afternoon

I gotta do a new post... Hey France was so nice, loved every second of it. Back at school though this week has been the biggest drag ever. I have begun questioning my career choice..but then the reassuring thing is that 'career' is such an open ended word these days. I've been told that still in some parts of wales people's last names still elude to their jobs. Or maybe that was 50 years ago. I've really got an appreciation this week that job satisfaction involves a whole lot more than good money. Words like 'meaning', 'significance', 'influence', 'genuinity', 'service' spring to mind as things that my job currently lacks in any substancial degree it seems. Sorry, way too depressing. Can I just say though that throughout this week, this wonderful family that I have joined over here has bought me tonnes of yum treats to make up for the monkey enclosures that I've been trying to teach in. Thanks guys!!

I'm still shaking!!

My brother-in-law Steve just showed me a movie trailer linked to his mate's blog (a guy called Lloyd, a really fun and talented individual). It's like every kiwi's fear... the day the sheep get smart. There's something like 10 sheep for every New Zealander, don't get me wrong, some of my best friends are sheep, but we don't really give them much credit.

Well it's been ages since I blogged last, I think I'm just going through an unenthusiastic lull, or maybe I'm asking the question that every 'young' blogger asks..."is there any point?". Perhaps not, but I will press on through.

Just had a week off, zipped around the Lake District, it was so beautiful...benefit number 1 of supply teaching in the UK. Was awesome to hang out with family and see this beautiful world we live in.


Then after getting back I've been back at school for 4 days...benefit number 2 of supply teaching in the uk... often you don't work full weeks!! It was pretty hard going but I didn't kill any students, so I'd call it a success. Was a bit funny when a kid that I had busted for bunking classes (he was hiding behind my class and making heaps of noise) came in to my class at lunchtime and had a friendly chat, during which time he shared with me some of his romantic poetry. He said I could use them on my wife if I wanted... a kind offer but I delined nonetheless.

Now I'm off for another 2 weeks, going down to Bournemouth to celebrate the life of my wife's Grandma who passed away last week, then off across to France. The third and final benifit (in this post) of supply teaching in the UK... only a short ferry ride to the amazing tastes, sights and sounds of Europe! I'm excited.

Pay Negotiations

I just spent about 15 mins negotiating my rate of pay for the next 6 weeks with my agency. Nothing really out of the ordinary there, but the stupid thing was we both knew what the agreed rate would be before we started discussing it, we just both played this silly bluffing game in order to reach it. Agencies are kind of wierd. I reckon they're often big liars and trickers. Kind of like used car sales people, except leasing out people for allotted times. I tried to do it without going through agencies initially but to no avail. Oh well.

We're off to the Lakes district this weekend, school holidays for a week as well, followed by 4 days back at school then 2 weeks in France!! Shivers! My contract requires me to give 1 days notice if I can't be at school, but I try to be a bit nicer than that.

I'm going to be at the same school now till the summer holidays. It's good being able to anticipate the situation for a while. Still some hugely challenging kids though, I guess it will be good being able to mould their behaviour for the next 6 weeks (expectation is my enemy, flexibility is my friend).

And now you too can impress your friends by drawing a cool tank!

A cool thing that happened today.

There has been some really good things about supply teaching so far, the problem is, these often get a bit overshadowed by the tough stuff. Well today I was in my class supervising a study period with only a few students. There was a little kid outside having his early lunch, he didn't have any mates, so I invited him in and I taught him how to draw tanks. He was pretty stoked about it all.

Another week

Last thursday I had a bit of a job interview at a flash school in London, it was all pretty stressfull. I was so blinken nervous, and unfortunately didn't walk out with a job. I don't know how I would have handled the field trips to Costa Rica anyway. So still looking for a job for September.

I went to a nice Catholic Girls school for a few days earlier this week, kind of wierded me out a bit. When I got home at the end of the second day, I realised that I had ink sprayed on the bum of my pants. Nice work.

A couple of wierd/funny things

1: I taught a kid with torretts syndrome yeasterday... no where near as glamourous as tv makes it out to be, just really hard work for the two of us. Poor fella.
2: I taught dance the other day, the mysterious thing was that none of them turned up, the magical disappearing dance class.
3: I was sitting in a staff room and a huge conga line went dancing past, complete with a boy playing a giant euphonium.
4: Trying to control a very noisy/low ability class today in the library. Reading time. After asking a young girl 5 times to get herself a book and start reading, she finally gave me an exasperated look, stood up and said, "right, so where are the books?" I advised her to perhaps open her eyes, as nicely as I could.
5: In the same class, due to a lazy lady taking my name at the office, I was introduced as 'Mr Read' (rather than the combination of the two), a kid looked up at me in the most innocent way and said "so I guess you like books then". It's amazing how clever some kids can be.

Kid through a window

Did I mention that a kid pushed another kid through a window in my class on thursday? It was a bit of an experience. Fortunately the windows were double glazed and laminated... so no bloody gaping wounds.

My London Anzac Day

Well due to a teachers only day (I got out of it) and after a days river trip to Greenwich, Lucy and I found ourselves walking past Hyde Park Corner, the site of the New Zealand ANZAC memorial. The connection was made after spotting a few wreaths and checking the date on my watch. It was a special little pause in our day. Actually I felt a bit of moisture coming to my eye after scanning some distinct cast iron symbols of home. I will always remember walking past the war memorial on North Road in Dunedin. I would do it often, but every Saturday morning I would pause there for about a minute or two. His name (amongst others) was T. Aitken (Tom it turned out, not Tim), I was, and still am, significantly affected by this T. Aitken, no doubt a guy much like me, probably similar age, similar hopes and dreams, yet denied the chance to see them realised. "They died so that we may have life, let us make our lives worthy of their sacrifice" was the challenge posted beneath the list of the fallen. Just before I would leave I would always put my fingers on his name and make a little pledge to myself to live life like it was meant to be lived (always quietly and after a cautious look around to see if other folk were watching).

What do I feel so strongly enough about to make sacrifices for in my life? What would I give my life to? What would sacrifice entail in my life?

I think it's very right to remember those who paid the ultimate price, often for reasons not completely understood by them. This evening I'm going to make my own poppie and take it up.